Thursday, 25 December 2014

My dwindling addiction to internet

Internet was one of the things that was close to magic for me. To me, magic is a form of advanced science that we don't yet understand. When I was 12 years old, I just didn't understand how I could reach the world with just logging on to a computer. Sure, computer helped me do my work and it also included games and Paint and movies and music, but to be connected to the world just a click away? Seemed surreal at the time. I have to admit, i still don't understand the technology behind WWW and LAN and WiFi, but they are no longer magic. They are facts that have become a necessity in our daily lives which we cannot live without. Our information encyclopedia is in our gadgets, bringing knowledge from around the world as we speak. We study, make our projects, read books and talk to people on the internet. In a nutshell, internet is a part of our lives. But it was not so.....10 years ago.

Just as a layman would get hooked to something he doesn't understand yet finds fascinating, I also was hooked to it. Whenever I got the chance I would sneak up to the computer table and turn the LAN connection on. However at first, my addiction was intertwined with frustration. Such slow internet connection with the google page opening up in no less than 30 seconds was enough to turn my patience into ashes. But that even made me more hooked. I opened up all the websites of my fantasies and emailed my friends, sending and receiving pictures so dear to me at the time. I didn't have to telephone or say anything to a person I know. I just emailed them and they emailed me back. Writing became my favourite hobby, or should I say typing!

That was until social networking sites came along. I came across Orkut but could not understand what it was meant for. All I knew was that my friends were there and I could chat with them. Two people talking back and forth like real that was something! By the time I got used to the ways of Orkut, I had not realised my friends were leaving that site. I heard they had moved on to a similar kind of website known as Facebook. After stalling for some time (because I loved Orkut), I joined the mega social networking. Sure, I admit I had a hard time figuring my way around because it was more complex than Orkut, but I succeeded eventually. It was a blast: once I understood it, it was the best website to connect to people.

I became more and more familiar and addicted to Facebook partly because of its amazing features, and partly because I was in a relationship for the first time. We didn't get to meet much, and so we connected out there, which was cool. He was an amazing artist, his sketches were a class in its I kept a watchful eye over his picture folders to catch the latest addition. All in all, I had a great time.....but the decline of the whole situation had just begun which I didn't realise.

Because of my constant talking and communicating over the internet, I forgot how to talk to him when I was with him. I didn't know what to say to him, through my own mouth! It was as if I was there to observe him, then I would go home and pour my heart out by typing away in Facebook. It got way out of hand, and my studies were suffering in the most crucial year of my whole life. One bad result in the exam would diminish my chances by a large margin of being something successful in life. So I controlled myself and got the hell out of the whole internet business addiction thing for good, just until my exams were over that is. I still did Facebook but for limited time for limited things. Internet ceased to be my pastime. My boyfriend did not perceive this diminished contact very well, so drifts became apparent in our relationship. This continued for almost a year. Due to my internet addiction, I was only a girlfriend on digital terms, but in real social life, I wasn't even a person he could freely talk to. Same was he for me. With time, as I broke off from the internet, we broke apart too. Funny how we broke up on the internet and never saw each other again.

That was the moment. After that time, I was no longer addicted or nearly as interested by the internet as I once was. I got good scores, made to a great college, and forgot what it was like feeling high while being online. There was a time when I could not pass three hours before checking Facebook. Now I can go on for more than three days without realising I have not checked my notifications the whole time.

My addiction has faded. My interest hasn't however, but it is significantly lower. It may have been due to my break up, or may have been due to the one year break I had from the internet. It was hard, staying away from it for most of the day, but as I put a year into that, it became easier. Maybe because the internet had become so familiar with our lives that there was nothing new left to explore. All these reasons are partly responsible for my dwindling addiction to internet. I am a fan of socially intermixing with people, and internet can never replace that. Real relationships with people are everlasting, and I prefer that to a temporary friendship in the digital world, every time you ask me!

Internet is awesome, sure, but not worth your addiction. That's my last comment.

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